Thursday, February 12, 2009

R -Rated Bingo & Sh*t From Your Pockets

I’m a little late on this but I was busy hanging out in Florida. Its way too hot there and I didn’t see and alligator. *snif*

Monday night I made it back in town in time to actually play BINGO at the biker bar by the Greyhound station. I took my friend. I don’t think we can ever go back…. OK well she might not be able to. They have laws about baring your breasts in public. There were at least 3 long island ice teas that were a precursor to these actions (on her part I as usual was drinking Hef.)

Turns out this is sort of a white elephant BINGO as well as bar goodies. People bring in stuff. The old gay guy brought in some cross stitched teddy bear thing in a frame and some one won it in a game. It is a very interesting crowd of regulars. Old ladies from New York dressed finely, mingling with gay biker dudes and not so gay biker dudes and the BINGO stud who would probably mount a stuffed Chihuahua given any encouragement.

Seriously, He was having fun coming over to us and making graphically nasty propositions…. Now we might have been encouraging him a bit with my friend flashing her boobs and all…. Anyway. I was on the phone and he was saying some cutely nasty stuff and I handed him the phone and said “Say that to the phone!” Which he did with great glee in great detail………to my husband ….Who by the way is an extremely good sport. When I got the phone back he said “Honey, I would be worried about that guy.” “No worry honey I am twice his size and sober. I can take him.” I said . “OK, have fun!” honey says.

Much later in the evening when BINGO stud was trying to talk my friend over to his place and said “Your husband is on the other side of the mountains.” I said “Yes, but MY husband lives a mile away from him and you just spoke to HIM on the phone.”BINGO stud said. “I quit.” I’m running away now!” HA!

SO here’s how it works. For .50 you get a card. There are 3 cards on a strip so most people buy $3 worth (2 strips) I think one of the little old ladies buys 10 strips and she wins almost every game….

The first part of the game is any straight line BINGO. Then the person who wins gets to pick a pattern off the sheet of options. Most people tend to pick “The Butthole” in a normal BINGO parlor this is known as “The Small Picture Frame” but hey, this is biker bar BINGO.
Then the game progresses to a blackout. For the first two parts the winner gets a buck and some prize. The teddy bear needlepoint or a wind chime or the BINGO caller’s underwear.. you get the idea. The last part, the blackout, you get some money. Around $15 or so.
They have one game where the cards are $1 each and the bar must chip in because you win some decent money and a serious prize…like a camera or a 30” T.V.
Then…there is the LAST game. “Sh*t From Your Pockets”. The BINGO caller goes around to everyone and gathers “Sh*t From Your Pockets” and puts it in a basket. Whoever gets a blackout first wins everything in the basket.

Guess which game I won ..... Yep…..“Sh*t From Your Pockets”.
I won:

a menu from the Voodoo Doughnut stand and wedding castle in Portland
paper napkin rose
purple pearl tampon
basketball keychain & bottle opener
shampoo from Shilo inn
business card for "Drix the computer geek"
1/2 taquito
1/2 cigarette
matches from Tan Republic
walmart receipt for a fenshui CD$

A pretty good haul. I think I made a little $$$ and I really needed the shampoo.

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